Getty Images/Getty Images for Equality Now(LOS ANGELES) — (NOTE NATURE) Jameela Jamil confessed on Monday that, a year ago, she was in a dark place and contemplating ending her life.

Serving as keynote speaker at The BodCon on Sunday, The Good Place star opened up about her mental health struggles and how she worked through her darkest thoughts.

“Just a year ago I was totally suicidal,” the 34-year-old actress confessed. “This week is my birthday week. I was totally suicidal on my birthday last year because of how much people were just mocking my disability, or like, mocking my mental health and I was like, ‘What an ugly world, I don’t want to be here anymore.'”

Jamil is referring to last year’s accusations that she had Munchausen syndrome, which is called Factitious disorder, according to Mayo Clinic.  Munchausen syndrome causes people to seek attention by faking serious illness and/or injury.

The Legendary host called the reports “lies and conspiracy theories,” but they still deeply affected her mental health.

Luckily, the actress says she is a much better place and attested, “Now a year later, I’m like the strongest and the happiest and the freest I’ve ever been.”

The message Jamil hoped to convey is that hanging one’s self worth on the opinion of others is not healthy for one’s self esteem or mental health.

“I’m not out to impress a bunch of strangers who because of misogyny are looking to poke holes in me anyway,” the I Weigh founder attested, saying that successful women have to develop a thick skin because, “When we don’t like a woman, we will investigate every single thing she’s ever said, ever done [and] scrutinize her obsessively.”

Jamil closed out by touting the benefits of therapy alongside learning to stop comparing one’s self to beauty standards.

If you are struggling with thoughts of suicide, or worried about a friend or loved one, help is available. Call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 [TALK] for free confidential emotional support 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Even if it feels like it, you are not alone.  

By Megan Stone
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